Hiiiiiii Jewel, so excited to hang out with you in the being wife session of the hub aaagggaaiinn 💃 💃 💃.

It’s something I earnestly look forward to and enjoy, and hope you feel the same way too😍 😍 😍

So today were talking about the “Purposeful helper”.

Did you know that its one thing to be a helper and its another thing to be a purposeful helper?

Scripture tells us that the husband of the prov 31 woman is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. In other words, he is a respected member of the city council, where he meets the other leaders.

If you read the whole chapter you’ll see that the reason her husband is known and respected is as a result of his wifes actions.

A husband who is a known and respected member of council is most like one who is and has been helped by his wife to become everything GOD has called him to be.

So this brings me to who a purposeful helper is

 A purposeful helper then is a wife who carries out her roles as a wife deliberately and with the intention of achieving a specific purpose, which is to help her husband become all that GOD has called him to be.

In this case, everything she does and every action she takes as wife is centered around helping her husband become his best self and attain the highest possible expression of himself.

She is deliberate about the things she says, the things she does, her facial expressions and her body language to ensure that at all times and at every single second/minute, she is encouraging and pushing him to be more and not putting him down regardless of the situation.

To do this, you must be a wife who seeks to perfectly understand her husband, who believes in who he is now and in who he is capable of becoming.

Understanding your husband is no small feat seeing that he is a human being who is evolving and who has been shaped into the man he is now by different ideals, values, belief systems and experiences. The good thing is with love comes a great deal of understanding, and all you have to do is seek to understand him much better.  

A good way to get to know your husband better and start to understand him, is to get to know his beliefs and his values…

Values are defined as what we as individuals choose to find important in our lives. They help us determine what to prioritize in our lives. Values describe the personal qualities that guide our actions; the sort of person we want to be, the manner in which we treat ourselves and others, and our interactions with the world around us. They basically determine how we live our lives, the things we pay attention to and the ones we neglect.

For instance, a person who values family and spending time with family will be particular about getting a job that allows he/she spend time with family because spending time with his family is something that he values and is extremely important to him and this will genuinely affect how he lives his life. On the other hand a person who values career success will put that over every other thing because success in career is what is most important to him and what he values and this will equally impact on how he lives his life too.

Every human action and interaction are largely based on values and what they deem important to them and worthy of attention.

This is why to understand your husband, you must seek to understand his deepest values, to enable you ‘wife’ him excellently, hahaha, remember our word “wifing?” yes it belongs to us here at the hub.

So, back to our gist, like I said much earlier, understanding your husband is not a one-day job, its an ongoing thing. Someone called it, literally going to the school of your husband… very hilarious but very profound. It shows you how crucial understanding your husband is, to enabling you wife him into purpose.

I’m guessing that by now, you must have seen how really important it is to seek to understand your husband and you most definitely are thinking of how best to do this right now.

Awesome, that’s exactly why we’re here at the hub…

I’ll share with you 3 best strategies to implore on your journey to better understanding your husband… trust me, it’s a real journey and an interesting one at that, hahahahahaha

So here it goes:


Various occasions, situations and circumstances will hand you opportunities to better understand your husband. Your ability to be attentive and catch those moments will determine how well you eventually get to understand your husband and have AHA moments in having a firm grasp on his personality.

There are parts of your husband, good and bad, you may never see except situations and occurrences present themselves for those parts of him to be revealed and your ability to pay close attention to his reactions in those moments will help you learn more about him.

Sometimes, these reactions could range from facial expressions to body language, to attitude or even spoken words. You want to listen attentively to what your husband is saying and not saying, not in the negative way of implying what he is not saying, hahahaha, but in a bid to better understand him.


You are not a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart, hahahaha

A good way to seek to really understand your husband is to ask him what he really wants. Communication is key in really understanding your husband. Now this doesn’t mean that you’ll get a seat and a book and pen, and invite him to an interview, where you take down notes, chances are you are not a journalist either. As events present themselves like we talked about, whether they are good or bad, you’ll see opportunities to get to better understand your husband.

It is called information gathering, hahahaha.

One of the ways to do his is to engage in deep conversations with your husband. Create times when you just love up on each other and just talk, ask each other questions around future plans, interests, work and desires.

Now, depending on the scenario, you should wisely discern when to ask questions, if you should ask at a particular time or if you should wait for a later time, maybe over dinner or cuddled up in bed, however you choose.

Also depending on the scenario, remember to come as a team player who is on his side simply wanting to understand and not as a judgmental warrior.


Only the holy spirit knows your husband for who he truly is but the good thing is you can ask him and he will be more than ready to share with you, so that you can effectively serve your role as wife. The only way to actually succeed as a purposeful helper is actually by the help of the Holy spirit. Years ago, I was invited to speak at a women’s event on the topic of “The holy spirit” and instead of coming from the angle of all that the holy spirit is, as I prepared for the message GOD began to show me the role of the holy spirit as the ‘helpers’ helper. In other words, the woman’s helper is the holy spirit.

So, while you are busy being everybody’s helper, from wife to mom, the holy spirit is being your own helper, teaching you, showing you what you need to do and helping you navigate each one of these roles efficiently and effectively.

Who else can reveal your husband to you but your helper, the holy spirit… He is there to help you. Ask him to reveal the man GOD has called your husband to be, to you and how you can help him become that and he’ll definitely show you. All you have to do is ask.

So there you have it, three strategies you can implore to better understand the man whom GOD has given you to ‘wife’.

Remember, a purposeful helper who helps her husband achieve all round success is a woman who understands her husband and his unique personality.

Remember how we said that wifing means honoring, supporting, submitting, loving encouraging, inspiring and giving to your husband.

A purposeful wife pays particular attention to each of these attitudes and is particular about doing them while displaying her unique personality and feminity, meeting her husband’s need; not like a mother who hovers, but like a companion who covers. You can cover him with your discernment, your prayers, your care, and your love. 

In doing all these, please resist the urge ta act like a mother to your husband. Your role is to lovingly guide, support, and point out areas you notice something that can be improved on. Like I said, do it like a companion who covers and not like a mother who covers. You can do the rest in a place of prayer and let the Holy Spirit do his part.

In our next posts, we’ll be looking at the various ways a wife can practically, submit, support, love, encourage, inspire, give to, and honor her husband and we’ll be looking at each one of them individually.

I’m so excited and can’t wait for to see you in our next post on the “being wife’ section 💃 💃 💃.

For now,

To your distinguished excellence

The Thrive Queen


When you understand him at this level, its easier to see how you can help him become everything GOD has called him to be.

To do this you must Pay attention to discovering him for yourself, getting to know for yourself the things that deeply  interest him, impress him and excite him as well as the things that irk. Remember here at the hub, wififng is a verb, an action word. So if yiure going to wife your husband to attaining hid fuest potential in GOD, you must first understand him to a reasonable extent.

Help him be known t the gates…

 Be intentional to find out why exactlyhe is complaining about anything and find out what he really wants, like exactly what he wants.

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